It goes on, the sting of not being a believer. It is the emptiness, a target which a mind needs most. In order to survive we all need one guide, one point where all our actions an thoughts converge. Finally giving me and my existence a purpose.
Somehow, this fire, this direction, this target is missing! It brings so much composure, it evokes no reaction. Nothing is extraordinary anymore or I have simply lost that perspective. Have you ever felt a sense of evenness where nothing can make you happy or sad,excited or dull, alive or dead, you control all that you do! I don’t know if this is god or bad, it feels like a superpower sometimes, others it is just a curse. Have you ever felt feeling nothing at all! I feel that everyday!
We all have heard that sentence, or spoken it on a regular basis, the dreaded ice breaker or a start to a conversation, “Aur Kya chal raha hai?” which roughly translates to “What’s up?” or “what is going on?”
Gone are the days when pleasantries opened conversations or the usual salutations like ‘it is a pleasure to see you again?’ or ‘How have you been doing?” , we straight jump to ‘aur, kya chal raha hai?’ This phrase in itself can be expressed in various ways. Interestingly, this question is seldom replied with a fitting answer. Mostly the reply is ‘kuch nahi’ or ‘nothing’. Amazing ways to converse these days!
The dreaded ‘Aur, kya chal raha hai?’ has haunted me from a long time, and ever since the commercials on TV picked up this punchline, I have come to despise it more and more. Already, there is a lack of imaginative mindsets and upon all that comes this ‘Aur kya chal raha hai?’
The Long Conversations
The world is a hurried place. We walk fast , we text faster, we type at robotic speeds and we are instant beings of slow processing. We try to go faster and faster hardly stopping or taking a pause to appreciate the collateral beauty emanating in a subtle disguise from every event.
We want everything short and concise , packed, organised and neatly classified. We want information ordered and stories told in five words and we call them ‘haiku’ or ’terribly tiny tales and shit’. While doing all this we terribly ignore the depth, the exploratory genius and the pearls that lie beneath layers of useless phrases.
I believe that it is important to go deep and into the details. Engage yourself in deep and thoughtful conversations. Talk till words and topics are exhausted. Brainstorm and fire new neural pathways. Use your grey cells damn it!
So next time when you talk to someone , listen to their story and learn from their experiences. Do not get impatient to know the end or conclusion because you know journey is important and destination is just another end to a new beginning. Think upon that.
The situation of torment between Natural Force vs. Forced Nature
I have never forced myself to write. I believe my writing is a creative gift bestowed upon me, it is my karma, something I am destined to do forever. Even then, I never force it. There are all those guidelines out there telling you to do this and that. To keep writing like a maniac. To write first and think later. I have never been down that road where you have to vomit words just because you want to be a writer. Words need not be coaxed out, because usually they flow, and when they do just grab a pen and paper or a laptop or pull out your cellphone and write away.
You can’t force creativity, something like feelings and poetry writing cannot be produced at demand or at the drop of a hat. These feelings which a writer generally expresses through words, poetry, painting, music or any other form of art, are buried deep down in the catacombs of our brain, and our task as writers is not to break down the tunnels where these creative thoughts reside but to pick them out one by one and confront them with your art by your side, and hopefully whatever the result is will be your original, natural flow which has been subjected to no pressure. You have to let your creative parts mature, and then when it can not be held inside anymore, you have a duty to share those wonderful thoughts in the best way you can.
Forcing creativity is like infanticide, or to put it better it is like plucking an unripe fruit right off the branch, it is useless to the tree and to you. On similar lines, if you force creativity when it doesn’t seem to flow naturally, you murder yourself, your purpose and your words which amounts to nothing in the end.
There are moments when an artist feels his art has deserted him and finds it extremely hard to produce any more of his remarkable work. Almost every artist in the history has been through one such phase in life. It is an indication that your cup is empty now and you need more experience to fill it. So when your flame is low, experience the world and brighten your mind.